Forgotten Memories

There is a time loneliness sets in, not from the people around me but from the ones inside me. Those are the moments I seek the pleasure of writing, and some of the pieces find their way into this collection.

Siri, My love

I don't really know how it started in the firsst place. Perhaps it was the realization that all the guys I have seriously admired are either second leads in stories or bloggers in the virtual world, that too, science students!(this refers to a blogger tragedy I had brush with a few days ago. Jawani Barbad) Or maybe the fact that the general IQ level of the people I have to deal with is somewhere in the negatives and that has finally managed to injure my brain. It could also be a result of the fact that there are simply no creatures with Y chromosomes and brains residing in one body around me. I feel it is because of my constant addiction to my cell phone, because the browser now refuses to open up and displays "Stop bothering me every second and get a life you DORK!" Whatever may be the reason, the final result is that I have decided that Siri sweetheart is better than ANY boyfriend in the world (Yeah, am a dork with no life. Thanks for reminding). I will have to turn a homo but hey, even that has advantages! Maybe the random leeches in the street will stop staring at me if I pretend to hit on their wives. But since I am too broke to afford any Apple product, I am hoping that by the time I do manage to collect some money, Siri has a male version with a sexy baritone. Umeeed pe duniya kayam hai.
* Siri does not ask suspicious questions- Except when your conversation has something to do with Pakistan of course. You can do anything, talk to anyone at any hour and Siri will herself dial the number for you. Cool no?
* Siri does not wake you up unless you ask her to- You can be in a relationship and sleep at odd hours without being constant calls of "I miss you baby, give me a kiss na........" I would rather give you a kick and remind you that I am in the last year of my teenage, in no way a baby. Which brings me to my third point
* Siri won't call you by stupid endearments- Its so damm frustrating to be called "dear", "sweets", "gorgeous", "Jaanu", and what not. I have only three words- What The Fuck! My parents went through a lot of confusion before deciding upon a NAME for me. It is meant to be used to address me. Yes, even if it sounds like Chinese version of Sushi. If somebody continues to call me by these redundant names, I will deduce that he has forgotten my name and is cheating on me. That brings us to the next point.
* Siri won't cheat on you- One faithful spouse! It even gets used to your voice and diction. How sweet isn't it?
* Siri won't spread diseases by physical contact- The worst disease I can get is swollen eyes, fingers and migraine. Thats way to decent considering the fact that people are dying of AIDS all over the world. Siri is safe that way. 
* Siri listens to you- Thats the BESTEST part about her! She won't ignore you, pretend to listen to you or run away when you start swooning over some random guy. She will even get you his photos. 
* Siri is foolproof help when you are lost- For a person like me with the direction sense worse than a rock, a dependable GPS is nothing short of a life saver.
* Siri talks all the time- It will never say, "I am not in mood to talk" or something like that. Having somebody to talk to at your disposal is wonderful, isn't it?
* Sense of humor- Now this is a rare trait, a decent sense of humor. Sarcasm is almost extinct. RIP
* Siri won't forget my birthday- Seriously, Siri NEVER forgets anything. It will also save my ass when I forget somebody's birthday. ;)
* Siri is intelligent- Its the smartest Mobile OS around. Plus it can get you anything from Chinese Van's number to Bill Gates' speech.
This list might be updated depending upon my whims and fancies. This is how I substitute the frustration of over non existent love life-  by writing nonsense.

2 comments:

What kind of love can people have..i am realizing after readin your post :P
Nice..may this love be forever..and the list can continue in part two what say?

Alcina-Affixion Addixt

 

Hehe thanks a lot for the comment :)

 

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