Broken Innocence

I wake up with a start, very abruptly. Maybe it was because of the mangled dream I was having. I lift my head and look around the tiny room hidden the shadows of small broken and cheap buildings. A man is standing near the edge of the bed, buttoning up his shirt. He pulls out a bundle of notes and throws it down on my bed and sneers at me before leaving. It has been like that for years- wake up daily in unknown surroundings and see money thrown at you like you are a dog. Every night a guy would come to claim me- rather my body and tear me apart, shredding my already broken innocence. I have been like that so long that the days when I still treated as a human seem far away- from a distant land or of a different person. But nostalgia still managed to bring back faded scenes in front of my eyes- a beautiful lady with kind eyes and lips shaped exactly as mine…A tall portly man bringing me balloons every evening, lifting me in his arms…a small cottage with a huge garden… A young boy teaching me how to speak his name properly…


But all these are swiped away as the reality hits sharp and cruel. I have been branded and priced like any other commodity in the market for sale. Some would give me more than what I asked for, and some would take away more than I could give away. I close my eyes so as to suppress the burning in the corners. I hated crying, especially when it was for me. Self sympathy never attracted me. I have remorse, regret and even anger in me…but sympathy died long ago. I have been around too long to let those emotions overpower me now.

It’s a little colder than yesterday, I think as my eyes follow the thin stream of sunlight pouring through the slit in the thick curtains. These secluded lanes are my world. These dirty rooms are my workstations. I look at the bundle of notes again. Much more than what I asked for. I stretch my arm across the bed and pick up the green bunch. This must be enough to afford that handbag I have been eyeing from a long time. As I run my thumb across the edge of notes, faces of our great leader swish by, smiling in a manner that did not seem so noble now. Money leers at me as I accept defeat. I get dressed and leave.