Forgotten Memories

There is a time loneliness sets in, not from the people around me but from the ones inside me. Those are the moments I seek the pleasure of writing, and some of the pieces find their way into this collection.

Battlefields

I came across this at a forum...

     Although life breaks us all, some of us manage to become "Strong at the broken places."  This happens naturally if an emotional wound has the right conditions to heal.  People who are lucky enough to inhabit emotionally safe environments start mending almost as soon as their injuries occur.  the rest of us don't improve so quickly.  We were hurt on emotional battlefields where there wasn't even a safe place to rest, let alone anyone skilled enough to administer firsts aid.  So we patched our wounds as best we could and battled on, still bleeding, still carrying shrapnel in our souls.

I don't think I have read truer words. When we are hurt, sometimes we have a choice to knock the right doors and submit ourselves to people who can heal us, protect us and care for us. Some of us don't take up that choice, some of us can't and others are rejected. Then there are ones who completely and truly are left alone when the people who catch them when they fall leave. 
A telephone call that was never made, a text still lying in the drafts section, a missed call, old greeting cards, incomplete conversations, a gift purchased but never delivered- that's what life is made of. 

Management by me...

Anyone who has been a commerce student knows how much useless stress is put on "management". Hell, even the engineers and doctors know that. 
After spending last two years of my life mugging up different aspects, features, characteristics, importance, techniques blah blah blah, I am kind of sick of the whole idea. And I am just in my first year. God save me.
All the management self help books ever written and sold are mostly crap, and should be titled "How to rob your organisation off its money", "How to save your organisation from being robbed", "How to hoodwink your employees into working overtime and not realizing it", "How to manipulate idiots", "How to look like an idiot yourself by giving out useless motivation speeches" and "How to make sure your juniors don't report your dirty tricks to the dirtier people".
I think when management was integrated into the educational curriculum, nobody knew that it would become such a bundle of nonsense. Anyone who seriously knows how to do things can use a lot of bullshit to fool the people around him/her.
Plus the whole claims of "having mutual profits" and "Win win situations" are completely baseless. Recently, we were doing communication strategies in class which were broadly divided into Win- Win and Win- Lose. Our lecturer explained the basis of both and then went on to teach us the principles of Win- Win strategy only. I was more interested in Win- Lose. Turns out its an unfavorable situation and has been scrapped off the course. Meh.
I actually prefer the theoretical aspects of the subject sometimes as it lays down an organised way of thinking, something that can used if somebody wants to. Calculation part is fine as it carries a kind of base. This is why I opted for finance- more sensible than HR(where you have to do a lot of buttering) and marketing(which will land you in hell). Finance can also land you in hell, but for a shorter period of time.  But things turn ugly when you have to cram "steps".
For example, first step in planning is "Vision" followed by "Goal" followed by "Target" followed by more. WTF.
One more thing in the whole subject is how organizations value their employees, they should be provided with facilities yada yada yada. Big big Beeeg nonsense again. Employees are first to be kicked out at any point of time. Senior employees should be bribed suitably so that they don't leak out your company's secrets. But whose company is it anyway? The BOD barely owns share in single digit figures. They basically don't give a fucking damn as long as IT department doesn't raid their houses.
So all the B- schools- you would do some real good if you teach your students how to invest in stocks so that they can start earning before they complete their first year. You can also teach them how to lie more convincingly, gift them nice formals for interviews and ask them to develop competitive spirit by playing video games. They will send you more crappy self help management books which you can stock in your library to show off. 



Why my college sucks...

Hello again people. I seem to have decided to post every bit of useless and unproductive thoughts on this blog. But again, why else do people blog? 
I spent 2 months after my boards studying to get in this damm college. And obviously I am going to list why it sucks now-
1. It has claimed my sleeping time. I might have shifted my afternoon nap to evening nap, but its punctuated with guilt pangs now. I don't like my sleep being compromised. Ever.
2. I have to travel an hour to get there. Okay, there are people who travel more than that. But to walk through piles of discarded earth mounds every morning is not a pleasant way to start the day. Plus I still haven't figured out what makes the place smell so bad. 
3. Being a nice college, you would expect the place to have some consumable food. But Alas! All we have is a shared canteen where chowmein is cooked in grease and "Meggi" is a kind of soup. Enough said.
4. Nobody, I mean NOBODY knows about this college! And we cleared 3 fucking rounds to get here! My course BFIA has been called BA Final Year and Bachelors of Fine Arts. It stands for Bachelor of Financial and Investment Analysis. Where are those 15000 retards who sat for the exam? Kaha mar gaye sab ke sab?
5. Our college has a "unique" tradition. We call our lectures by their initials. Not the students, the management as well. We have PG, JK, SJ, PV, DK(Bhaag bhaag...), KB etc etc. printed on our timetables. I mean, who the hell calls their teachers like that? I would shoot the person who calls me AS. 
6. We have two buildings. I occupy the smaller one. It is strategically designed to block any kind of cross ventilation. Even if there is a thunderstorm outside, a single hair won't lift from my head. Can't you see the kind of focus we promote? Die of suffocation, if you have to but don't dare your nose come out of that textbook.
7. Hypocrites! Loads of them! They want, money, contacts, big school names, sponsorship for their useless events but nobody who can work hard. Wow, doesn't that sound like the real world? Yes, thats what they promised us- real corporate exposure.
8. No fiction in the library. This one was a serious heartbreaker. I almost checked every book in the library to find a decent one. All I could see were dusty volumes of Statistics and a shit load of stuff on something called as "MANAGEMENT". I will write another post on what exactly management is.
9. No common room. Which means we stink in our classroom during free lectures. Some of us flock to the library to get some artificial cool air which ultimately results in multiplied water intake and trips to the loo.
10. 75% attendance requirement. For every paper. Can we ask why are we being subjected to this torture when the whole university has the requirement as 66%? I think it is a some sort of conspiracy. Are these people taking revenge from us because they had to work their ass off for the admission process?
11. Useless posters. I accept they were attractive in the beginning but the college events are being promoted worse than Amir Khan movies. We have glazed paper posters of "COMING SOON" of events. Whatever happened to saving paper and environment? Isn't this the same college that houses SIFE? We even have a promotion video for one of the events. Just imagine! Check this out. The video is pointless but the music rocks!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9kZi52MA8mo
12. A sadistic disciplinarian in our department. I think all colleges have this species of teachers who simply love scaring the pants off innocent students. He loves to waste our 1 hour once a week break with his threats of how 1/5th of the batch fails every time and the class size becomes half by the time the course ends. Yeah yeah.
13. Such a small campus that you can't even take a walk around the place. Plus no secret corners where you could find druggies/drunkards/smokers. They all go outside to have fun. :(
Okay, let me end here. Otherwise I will go on and on and on. Feeling so much better. 

Rant

Note: This post was written by me when I was bored and irritated to the nth degree and fortunately had a computer in front of me. I was amazed how creative I can get when I am pissed off. I am posting this here because I am 110% sure that nobody apart from my 3 beloved readers will read this. Them or the ones I give this link to. I am getting more cynical, pessimistic and cruel day by day. :S Dedicated to somebody I don't wish to name- would be too childish then, no? 
I really really wish that you would STFU and stay that way. Thankyou. 
You seem to have a shit load of misconceptions about yourself which I would love to clear, but since nobody is paying me to do it, I would rather not waste my time, paper and cyber space doing something that takes up copious amount of energy.
You are a perfect example for a psychology students and doctors who feel that their professions are not challenging enough and they require additional headaches. I think you can also be used as a case study of increasing amount of stupidity in homo sapiens. These two are the only two ways i think you can contribute to the human race and save yoursel from  being regarded as a piece of toxic and useless waste. 
Your presence in this college only proves one thing- psychological assessment tests are the need of the hour. 
If you continue the way you are going right now, I will sue you for collateral damage to my brain cells. Don't think that I will bear if even a single one of them gets fried up, even if I have billions of them in my head. Brain cells are extremely precious to me. I use them very judiciously(proven by the fact that I am writing this). I use them judiciously because I can see what happens to the ones who run out of them.
You seem to be suffering from a hearing defect. This is not a usual kind of hearing problem where people lose their hearing power. This defect is unique to you, where a piece of information falls on your eardrums and comes out of your mouth in a highly twisted vocabulary, in a lame attempt to appear impressive.The key point is that it involves no use of an organ supposed to be situated in your skull. Or perhaps it involves overuse of that organ to the point of it being revolted and it is taking out its revenge on you by giving out nonsense.
All this can be approximately translated into two words- "Fuck yourself"
;)

Forgotten Posts

I opened the page to write an awesome post.
I forgot what I was going to write
So all I have got to say is that I got a haircut.
My hair looks like a crow's nest.
Best part- No difference whether I comb it or not. :D

Champagne and Celebrations!!!



Hey guys
The awesome author of this blog has honored me with the chance to write the 50th(OMG! Really?) post of this blog. *Bows in gratitude*
Yeah, so after so many sweet, funny, soulful haikus, a bunch of awards and lovely comments, the blog is shining. I think its blushing (look closely).
I have been a reader here since its very first post. And it has been a real joy, to look at my blogroll and see an update. Though my dear friend had to give me reminders when I vanished from blogger, coming back was always a pleasure and I was always left asking for more.
The best part of this blog is it makes you feel warm. I can imagine its personified version spreading out its arms with a big smile. It feels great to be in a world full of colorful writing and thoughts after a tiring day. Also the style of writing completely rocks. You might think she bribed me to write this, but trust me I am pretty expensive and she spends all her money buying shoes. So this is all from my heart. J
My favorite post on this blog is very hard to pin down… I adore all the haikus. Particularly the images- they are so pretty and accurate! Also, one of the memorable posts is the Cheers one. I really laughed my head off when I read it. I wish he comes back *puppy dog eyes*
I really wish you keep writing brilliantly like this. I’m glad I am a reader of this mind blowing blog which gives us a peep into your creative mind. *Big hug*
Happy Writing!!!
This is for you-

Ivre
Note: This post is for my BFF who completed 50 posts. I just realized even I did! See, we do everything together!
You can read her awesome blog here- http://rawconviviality.blogspot.com/

Cloud of Smoke- 11


He stood in the hospital waiting area, waiting. He wondered if his happiness could be that short lived. They had gone out for a walk when the bullet had hit her, piercing her heart. The doctor stepped out of the ward and he straightened, his dread intensifying. He had finally lost her to the world she worked so hard to survive in. This world was like a cloud of smoke, temporary yet high above, teasing the ones below it come up catch it. It ultimately consumed her within its dark folds. He felt the walls close in before he hit the floor. 
End
Note: OK, this one was all sad ending. I am quite obsessed with writing random, out of the thin air pieces now a days. Give me your feedback if it was good. I posted the whole thing in one go except the first part, which was actually quite unrelated. And I was also too lazy to think up of a title. ;)
To see all posts of this series together, press Clouds of Smoke or series in labels. :)

Cloud of Smoke- 10


It was like waking up from a dream to a dream. His presence was still an amazement. Bearing his name was even more unbelievable. Why he tolerated her illogical passion for her work, her smoking, drinking and silence was something she could never fathom. She moved to the kitchen to prepare breakfast when she felt his fingers close around her wrist. She gladly fell back into his arms.

Cloud of Smoke- 9


She saw him in the crowd the moment he stepped out of his car. For some reason, she did not feel angry as he made his way to her. She felt too numb to move as he gently placed an arm around her shoulder. She rested her head against his arm and closed her eyes.
"Lets get married" she spoke after a few hours as they lay in his bed.

Cloud of Smoke- 8


He watched the daily news as it reported a fire in one of her factories. Her face flashed across the screen, her expression impassive and hard. She had asked him not to come to her under any case.
He banged his fist against the sofa arm. He was tired of being sidelined for his own "protection".
Exasperated, he picked up his car keys and left for the site.

Cloud of Smoke- 7


"Marry me" he whispered, threading his arms around her waist. She closed her eyes, marveling the moment. Instead, she saw the faces of cold people determined to bring her down. She could not imagine her life without this man who held her, her sole weakness.
"Not yet" she muttered, making herself another drink.

Cloud of Smoke- 6


He packed up his laptop and files after the presentation and exited the hotel conference hall. He saw her pushing the buttons calling for the lift. He almost ran to where she stood and tapped her shoulder, grinning like a child. She turned around, surprising him. He saw the pools of her eyes full of tiredness and loneliness. He caught hold of her hand and led her towards the stairs.

Cloud of Smoke-5


The hint of tears in her eyes was not surprising. It only enraged him further. She heard silently as he shouted a couple of times before collapsing on his chair. She still stood near the table, clutching a napkin. He covered his face with his hands and after fifteen minutes of silence she turned around and walked away to the balcony.
The food lay forgotten on the table.

Cloud of Smoke- 4


She set up the table, arranging everything perfectly. Although cooking was not her cup of tea, she felt she was not entirely disastrous. It conveyed a nice message, she thought as she heard the door click. She quickly wiped her hands on the napkin and waited him to make his way into the dining room.
He stopped short for a moment as she smiled, expecting a similar gesture. Instead she saw him close his eyes in an effort to control his rage. It had been 3 months since he had talked to her. She had gone underground after pulling off a deadly stock market stunt and all his efforts to reach her had gone waste.
"You cannot walk in and out of my life as you wish, woman." he bellowed.
She hung her head. He finally said what she had feared all her life. 

Cloud of Smoke- 3


She smiled as the radio played her favorite song and sped up the car. She did not want to be late. After dozens of meetings, this one was the one she was really looking forward to.
She saw a blinding light and swerved sharply, coming to a halt at the end of the road. Business rivalry had out stepped board meetings and spilled onto the streets.
She sighed and typed the text.
"I cannot make it. I am sorry."

Cloud of Smoke- 2


He bought a bunch of lilies, her favorite, and checked his watch. She was not the kind to keep men waiting for her and it had been a long time since they had met, or even talked for more than a few minutes. His phone beeped suddenly.
"I cannot make it. I am sorry."
He sighed and gave the bouquet to a small girl sitting alone on the park bench on his way back.

Missing

He entered the apartment after four hours of fruitless hunt through the city and slumped on the floor. The TV was still blaring with death figures and burning houses. He closed his eyes covered them with his palms. She had stomped out of the house after a very verbal fight. He had sworn he would never see her face again. And then he switched on the TV.
He heard the doorknob click and she walked in with a stony expression. Her anger turned to surprise when she saw his tear stained face.
"Where were you?" he almost choked, still on the floor.
"Terrace" she replied as if this was the most obvious place to be for four hours. Her gaze shifted to the news and understanding dawned.
She knelt down and embraced him, biting down her laughter. He crushed her against himself.

Poof!


She leaned across him and pulled out a cigarette and a lighter from her handbag. He looked on, a little disturbed as she lit it nonchalantly. She caught him and offered him a puff. He refused, distancing himself from her unconsciously.
"Sometimes I fear that I will lose you in a cloud of smoke." he muttered in a low voice, touching her heavy hair. She grinned and said
"Poof!"
Note- I did not intend this, but this becomes the first part of a series I am going to post. To view all parts together, select "Series" or "Cloud of Smoke" in labels. I hope you find it a little sensible as I wrote this whole thing in one go, unlike the previous one and realized that they are linked. 

Chapter- 10 The End

Months later he finds out who she is.
The revelations drive him crazy as he screams and throws around glass candlesticks.
He recalls her husband, a noble he had knocked off and replaced. She was his wife who had evaded his soldiers for years. 
Vengeance is a bitch.
Note: This was the first ever series i started writing and managed to end. I hope the end was not disappointing. I think I like this style of writing, giving out short chapters and no names. What do you say? 

Chapter 9- The Night of The Blood

He can see her dark form growing larger as he approaches the cliff. She has covered herself with a thick black drape and all he can see is her eyes.They mock him cruelly and she holds the sack of gold firmly in her pale, long fingered hands.  He can also see a sword at her waist.
He comes to a halt and draws his sword. She throws back her head and laugh. Her drape falls off to reveal her lovely face. He feels his blood boil as he charges on with the weapon. She flings the sack down in the ocean and does not try to protect herself. The blade drives through her heart and her laughter is frozen in death, while he screams in agony. His marriage to the Duke's daughter is forfeited on account of the big loss and bigger embarrassment.

The 80-20 law

Okay, I know I am going to get beaten up for writing this. Particularly when one out of the only three readers of this blog is a man. But lets do it anyway.
I have this theory. (I have a theory about every damn thing I think. Is there a word for a kind of illness where a person comes up with weird theories in every 2 minutes? If there is, please let me know. Thank you)
So according to me, after observing a lot of couples and the male and female population is divided as below-
80% of the men are sadistic bastards created by Satan when he was feeling particularly evil
20% of the men are sweet, lovable creatures created by God when he was feeling great
80% of the women are lovely beings, doesnt matter who created them(yes people, author of this blog is a woman so...)
20% of the women are sluts.
80% men(the sadistic brats) end up with 80% women(nice ones)
20% of the men(good ones) end up with rest 20%(bitches)
Thats how the balance is maintained in the world, people.

Rest In Peace

This is in loving memory of Snowy, a Pomeranian owned by somebody I know. Dear Snowy passed away last night after suffering a lot. The worst part is he died when everyone thought he was going to be fine.
I had never met Snowy, I don't own a dog and never will. But lets pray for his soul.

Why men get stuck with gold diggers.

Another rant
It seems like I have been taking my classroom conversations a bit too seriously.
Yesterday, we were having a discussion about how beautiful, smart girls date dumb looking men just because they are rich. Gold diggers, as they call them. I, being me, was reminded of something else.
A few days ago there was an article in the newspaper about why men buy fancy cars when there is no space in the country to even park them, let alone drive them. What is the point of buying a a car that goes from 0 to 300 in 3 seconds when you can barely hit 80?(that too if you are lucky) Well, according to this research, this is known as 'pea-cocking' (Is anyone reminded of 17 Again??)
So basically, men do all this irrational expenditure to increase their chances of finding a sexy woman to show off. In other words, we are no better than animals who dance in the mating season, showing off their colors.
Deducing from these findings,I conclude that men(or even women) don't mind being loved for shallow reasons, no matter how much we deny it. If you are trying to impress a girl by riding a sports bike, you deserve to be dating a woman who is after your money. And vice versa of course.
It is a cruel world. 

Chapter- 8 Gone with the wind

He screams in frustration as the guards hang their heads in resignation. The sight of empty trunks, a single gold coin and his set of keys placed in the center of the heavily guarded vault make him coil his fists in anger. But the thing that causes his blood to boil are the locks of heavy black hair, severed almost inhumanly. He reaches out to grip the curls, now sans their owner.
He orders his horses to be prepared. 

Chapter 7- The immortal bond

"Are you marrying the Duke's daughter?" she asks him as he strokes her smooth back. 
"Mmm mm" he answers nonchalantly, turning his gaze to her.
She closes her eyes and digs her face in his chest to hide her smile.
The almost non existent pangs of guilt quickly evaporate from her heart.