Forgotten Memories

There is a time loneliness sets in, not from the people around me but from the ones inside me. Those are the moments I seek the pleasure of writing, and some of the pieces find their way into this collection.

Cloud of Smoke- 11


He stood in the hospital waiting area, waiting. He wondered if his happiness could be that short lived. They had gone out for a walk when the bullet had hit her, piercing her heart. The doctor stepped out of the ward and he straightened, his dread intensifying. He had finally lost her to the world she worked so hard to survive in. This world was like a cloud of smoke, temporary yet high above, teasing the ones below it come up catch it. It ultimately consumed her within its dark folds. He felt the walls close in before he hit the floor. 
End
Note: OK, this one was all sad ending. I am quite obsessed with writing random, out of the thin air pieces now a days. Give me your feedback if it was good. I posted the whole thing in one go except the first part, which was actually quite unrelated. And I was also too lazy to think up of a title. ;)
To see all posts of this series together, press Clouds of Smoke or series in labels. :)

4 comments:

hey, Hi...

well the series was good, but then you shouldnt have posted it all together....it kills the intrigue..
and well other thing, the end, well it was a bit too simple, i was expecting all twists n turns...like revealing the bullet hit at the end after putting forth her death...

:)
over all, nice.


Regards,
Eon Heath...

 

Hey I agree with eon that posting it all together kills the curiosity but nevertheless it was interesting and liked it :)

The end sounded a bit abrupt to me..still it was good and different from the earlier series !

TC

 

@Eon
hey, I was feeling kinda impatient actually...hehe
and since I wrote this all in one go and left it lying around in the drafts section, I had this sudden urge. Though when I read it all again, I felt I shouldnt have posted it together...It kinda killed the different perspectives one could form with each read.
Well, this one has an alternative track. Its a story of 3 characters, of which I could show only two due this style. If I think of something, I will be back with this story from a diff POV
Thanks a lot for the comment :)

 

@ Fatima
Hey
yeah you guys are right... Thats why I was a little apprehensive about posting this, cuz it doesnt go as smoothly as the last one.
Thanks a lot for the comment :)

 

Post a Comment